Suck It: Big Dumb Action

This is actually from last summer, so the actual films it discusses have now turned over and made way for this summer's popcorn fare. The point, however, remains. Actually, if anything, the point is more true yet. The movies change (kinda), but the same bullshit prevails.

I've finally realized that action movies are pretty much always about reifying the current political machine and public zeitgeist. In the 80s, we had the glorious Bruckheimer indulgence of movies like Top Gun to remind us that the military can do whatever it wants, and we'd better like it. In fact, "Mavericks" who ignore rules and fuck around with billion dollar equipment are the American Way, dammit. We need them, because they will defeat those damn Commies. (Remember Commies? Remember what a big damn deal all that was? Boy, the Cold War seems like ancient history already, doesn't it? Funny how fast the Big Bad turns over. The rhetoric recycles, though.) And, the mavericks bed the hot chicks, especially if those "chicks" have authority over the men. That way, they can bring the womenfolk down to size, remind them of their place. In bed.

At the turn of the decade, we had movies like Die Hard to tell us that, while career women might not willingly suffer the yoke of traditional marriage anymore, ultimately machismo will still save the day, even saving that feminist who didn't want him anymore. We'll just see what she says when taken hostage by terrorists, eh? The macho man will get his, because he's secretly not a failing cop with little in his life besides a desire to cling to a wife who doesn't want him. In fact, all that undercutting by the "ballbreaking" wife and the devalued job is just creating a powder keg of masculinity ready to blow up and destroy...skyscrapers? Oh, and terrorists. Except the terrorists come back, because the battle is never won, or there'd be no further need for all that blustering machismo. Yippee-ki-ay, motherfucker.

By the late 90s, we had The Matrix, a kinder, gentler action movie that still had more bullets than brains, to tell us that technology will enslave us all...and then free us again. Well, actually, it will later free a select elite of previously oppressed tech geeks. In fact, technology will take Regular Joe cybergeeks and let them be superheroes, living in a fantasy constructed in their mind and remaking reality with a combination of will and technological proficiency to suit those fantasies--taking technology back from ... itself? Of course, this will take a kinder-gentler action hero, too...one who can be our "Neo"--the new man, the new savior, the new Great White Hope--the SuperGeek. Of the models, this one annoys me least. While it's largely the same old claptrap, at least it does acknowledge that we need changes in roles, in social structure, and in how we all relate to each other--need them, and frankly cannot avoid them in any case. It has plenty of problems, but the premise that brings all of humanity together against a common enemy at least means all of humanity brought together.

It was not to last, though, as the post-9/11 Era of Dubya has brought regressive politics, and equally regressive filmmaking. This year, we have Iron Man to tell us that annoying, aging playboy arms dealers are secretly superheroes and defenders of the American Way. They sleep with hot chicks, and then have their nice Gal Fridays escort them out the door while insulting them. Also, we have Wanted, which has such palpable contempt for its audience that it acutally informs us that it hates us. That's true for women the entire time (there are only 3 women--the pathetic shrew, the unfaithful bitch, and the bitch-goddess, none of whom fares well), and becomes true for men before the end of the film. One is lame action in the high deserts, overtly in favor of the fool's errand in Iraq. The other is pure escapist fantasy, fan-boy action, rife with misogyny (sidebar: amusingly, one apparent villain is impaled through the heart of an image of the madonna) and again, contempt for the public.

Not so amusingly, both movies are shockingly well reviewed. As of this writing, on Rotten Tomatoes, 76% of reviewers--both professional and informal--liked Wanted, and a scary 93% liked Iron Man. By contrast, quality psychological dramas like Tape and Hard Candy about split the audience, earning at most 65% positive reviews.

Are movies getting dumber? Am I just more discerning, or cynical, or intolerant of Big Dumb Action, than I once was? Or are people and politics getting dumber?

This is part of the same trend in which every damn thing they throw at us suddenly has to be a trilogy. Or beget a new trilogy, like the 60-something Indiana Jones. I mean, really. I like Johnny Depp as much as the next gal, but how you can make three long movies out of a Disneyland ride that runs less than three minutes I do not know. Whatever paper dragon the macho man or men fight always returns with with a new face, or there'd be no sequel. And there always has to be a sequel. Masculinity must always be redeemed, the feminist reduced to caricatured damsel or receiving comeuppance in the form of rape, torture and/or death; so, there will always be a sequel. The movie makers hate us. They hate us, and they think we're stupid. Appallingly, they're apparently right, as all these shit movies keep making money by the barrel.

Sometimes, I really, really hate the movies.

Angelina's still pretty, though. Really, Wanted should just be called "this woman is so hot, most of you won't care that we intend to insult you for two hours." But, I guess that wouldn't fit on the poster.